Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Oh aye yi yi yi yiii-e-iii

Budum dudum dup dup, dup dudup

Christmas music is pretty sweet, unlike every game I've ever played. I'm bored guise. What ever will I do?

I'm, dreamin, of a whiiiite, Christmas!

I go on my cruise to Mexico THURSDAY! I've got a decent amount of work to do before then, but hey, blogging is important too!

When I get back I don't know wtf I'm going to play. I accidentally let my DAoC trial pay for a month, motherfuckers. So now I've got like 30 DAoC accounts. It should still be going when I get back, but that doesn't mean I want anything to do with it.

Darkfall is supposed to be coming out soonish. Everyone is already creaming their pants over it, you know, because they're pretty cool guys like that.

Here's my beef with Darkfall: Twenty years later....
Just kidding, but seriously, that video fuckin sucked dude. My horrid DSL buffered so many times that I saw things most probably missed. Like one of the character's feet was fucking in the ground. Not just the dirt ground, but a ramp, you could see it coming out of the other side. Not much, I know, but still, it's been fuckin 20 years dude, cmon.

Now it's time for a segment I'd like to call: Where the fuck is DAoC Origins?
WHERE THE FUCK IS DAOC ORIGINS?
Thanks for joining us for another segment of: Where the fuck is DAoC Origins?

I fucking hate companies and business and money and shit. Why can't we just have some fun games, seriously, why is it so goddamn hard?

Here should be some rules to follow if you're going to try and make a fun game:
Rule 1) If you're working on the game, you have to play MMOs, like MMOs, love MMOs, and be fed up with current MMOs.
Rule 2) Shut the fuck up and listen to me.
Rule 3) PLAY THE GODDAMN THING.
Rule 4) Not suck.
and finally,
Rule 5) Give me money.

Questioning the rules is blasphemy. My logic is undeniable, etc, etc.

I just want to have fun man, I JUST WANT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND HAVE FUN, WHY IS THAT SO HARD?

Here are some things I like about MMOs:

1) Leveling quickly. When I can level fast, I really feel like I'm accomplishing something. Especially when I'm leveling faster than my peers, it makes me feel like I figured out how to do it faster, therefor I am better than my peers. I like that feeling.

2) Not leveling slowly. There is nothing more boring than hitting the same 5 goddamn keys over and over again. I fucking hate playing a couple to a few hours and not leveling. That is stupid fucking bullshit and you fucking know it!

STOP MAKING YOUR GAME GRIND LONGER SO YOU CAN GRIND MY FUCKING WALLET LONGER YOU MOTHER FUCKERS.

"Oh but 15 bucks a month is nothin', gigglesface." FUCK YOU GUY

If you have Altitis don't feel bad dude, it is the game company's fault. There is nothing wrong with you, you just like playing games that are rewarding and there is nothing wrong with that.

What are all of these WoW kids going to be like when they grow up? Fucking slaves to whomever they work for?

DO AWAY WITH LEVELS. DO AWAY WITH TIME.

HIT THE RESET BUTTON ONCE IN A WHILE.

The one thing I keep hearing is that if you want to have fun in an MMO you need a group to play with. Why? People like me don't play MMOs and if they do it is probably WoW. I bend over at work so that I don't have to at home. Even the thought of playing with people bores me. What the fuck are we going to do? Go guard a bridge somewhere and make people pay the toll or fuckin die? No, because games don't let you do that. "EVE DOES LOL" Yeah, it does, after three months of dick suckin and ass kissin. No thanks buddeh.

Why can't I just be allowed to grief people in peace.

Now don't get me wrong, I love griefing (without a v amirite?). Usually I want them to quit the game, but not every time. The saddest part of grieifing is when someone who shows some promise (aka keeps coming back for more) quits. That shit sucks dude.

When I was a CS noob I would play in servers 1v1 with good people (because everyone slowly left because he was raping them) and let them rape me over and over until either I killed them or they quit. Why? Am I some weird fuck who likes losing all the damn time? No, it is because I fucking wanted to learn and get better and not be a fucking noob.

BEING A NOOB IS NOT A GOOD THING, YOU FUCKIN NEWB.

That is like saying, well he's not that good at flying planes to be honest, but at least he likes what he does.

That is not good, I mean, am I wrong? I want the best goddamn pilot flying my planes, I don't want some dumbfuck who barely passed the test.

GET BETTER AT YOUR GAMES OR GO BACK 2 AIM.

People want more socializing in their games, how about instead of flirting with faggots on the internet we FUCKING COMPETE AGAINST EACH OTHER?

If your real life is so goddamn boring that you have to go online and pretend you're a fucking wizard to socialize then maybe you should fucking uninstall every fucking game you own. Maybe.

So many goddamn incompetent gamers.

Let me ask you a question (directed at anyone who has played [and hopefully excelled] team sports):
Is it more fun losing a game because your teammates are stupid and bad or winning a game because you guys fuckin own?

Does no one take pride in their hobbies anymore? I thought the goal of having a hobby was to get better at it, but what the fuck do I know, right?

So to sum it all up.

Devs: Learn to play newb.
Players: Learn to play newb.

OH MAN WE ALL GATHERED OUTSIDE THE DUNGEON TO HIT THE SAME 5 BUTTONS FOR 4 HOURS STRAIGHT, I WONDER IF THE BOSS IS GOING TO DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT THIS TIME.

Fucking seriously, am I the only person on the goddamn internet that feels like this?

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