Monday, May 11, 2009

Good Review Bad Review dot COM

Yep, today's pipe dream is inspired by the whole Darkfall debacle.

This is what you do, you review every MMO twice. One review is written by someone who loves the game and wants everyone else to play it. The other review is written by someone who is embarrassed to admit they're even playing the game and would like to save the world from it's crappiness.

Here's my reasoning.

When was the last time you were excited about a game coming out? Let's act like WoW is coming out soon for the first time ever. You've heard a little buzz, you know Blizzard doesn't fuck around, and you love love love Warcraft 3. You start looking around for reviews or previews or forum posts of excitement. Because you want to be excited, amirite? I mean come on, how long has it been since you've wanted to play a game this bad, amirite?

For the most part people know whether or not they want to play a game without reading reviews. If you don't agree with that then you're a part of the problem. You cannot just sit back and wait for everyone to bring everything to you, great king, before you make your decision. That is fucking stupid. You know what you like in a game and it is very easy to find out what intended aspects of a new game interest you. If you can't do that much work and just want to rely on some big website to tell you what to do then I'm sorry but you're worthless to the MMO community that cares about itself.

If we had a website that didn't release a single review for a game until it had a positive and a negative one then you've got something for everyone. Now you just need to develop two characters that anyone can enjoy. We have Carl the Carebear and Peter the PKer. You can't make this stuff up (unless you're me).

So you go there and click on World of Warcraft. You're then faced with 2 pictures. One of Carl all carebeared up and one of Peter eating a baby or something. You're asked to pick your playstyle judging by the picture. You've got to make Peter really grotesque so that you get your point across, and also make Carl a little girly man if you know what I mean.


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